Soapbox #8: Vapid Narcissism & Duck-Faced Selfies

About your author: I am not a particularly confrontational person and hardly ever lose my cool or lash out at people, unless absolutely necessary. An encounter with this one girl in my dorm room in Phnom Penh, Cambodia, just tested my patience and pushed me over the edge.

The Compulsive Selfie-Taker

It was well past midnight, and she continuously writhed along on her top bunk bed, taking selfie after selfie, seemingly oblivious to the other six or seven people sharing the same space, having to endure her silly little hedonistic side show. Every time she turned, the bed shook and creaked loudly. Clearly keeping everyone else in the room awake.

Duck-Faced Twits*

After about an hour of this continuous, unrelenting narcissist fest, I had had enough and whispered loudly, “Seriously??! Are you done yet, you vain, inconsiderate duck-faced twit?”* to which I got a dismissive “Whaaaa'??!” response. “You’re sharing a room with myself and six other people and you’re keeping us all awake with your ridiculous self-indulgent photo-shoot. Stop it, please!” to which I heard several people respond with sighs of relief and mutterings of, “Hear! Hear!” and “Thank you!”

Snorers, teeth-grinders and sleep talkers are tolerated to a large extent, albeit begrudgingly. It is understood that they cannot control it. But it’s when someone willfully disturbs others is where I get upset. There is a time and place when somebody has to step up, be an adult, take people to task, and call out this madness!

Sure, I got plenty of dirty looks from the compulsive selfie-taker the next day, but I felt flies. One of my fellow dorm mates bought me a cup of coffee the next morning to say thank you for speaking up. Another came up to me and asked me if I was the one who called out the ‘duck-faced twit*’. We had a good chuckle at my mini-outburst and verbal lashing.

We Teach People How To Treat Us

Granted, it wasn’t exactly the kindest way to go about things, but it was necessary. More people need to adult-up. Personally, I’m tired a small minority taking over common sense and common decency. Reinventing language, subverting culture. And no, I am not by any means an extremist of any sorts. I am tolerant and kind to all those around me, until they prove themselves ‘wrong’, and prove themselves as such through their actions.

Honestly, I don’t care about whom one chooses to sleep with, how one ‘identifies’, your race, culture, religion mean next to zero to me. Sure, your given traits can provide some clues to who you are, but that does not necessarily define one.

Yes, I am old-school, in that I ‘judge’ according to content of character, which is frequently expressed through actions. This is how, in my opinion, how things ought to be.

Don't Be An Arsehole!

My rule of thumb: just don’t be an arsehole, is that too much to ask?

Absorb the world around you. The world can be such an incredible place if you learn to see, instead of look, learn to listen, instead of hear, learn to savor, instead of taste, and learn to value yourself in a healthy and constructive manner.

Constantly seeking external validation is an empty pursuit. Sharing hundreds of vapid selfies is not making a valuable contribution to the world. Put away that omnipresent black mirror and find something that does make a valuable contribution: write, paint, cook, plant, play, compose. Everyone has unique latent talents, it's all about discovering what they are. Let's make the world a better place individually and together.

To all the wonderful people out there, and there are plenty – I salute you!

*Wee disclaimer: actually said another no-no word, but hey…